Date:	2006-03-14 11:42
Subject:	Winter's summer ended...
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold

Everything suddenly freezed
left alone, shivering,
Without any warmth
Even my tears refuse to fall

A season I have always been
A time I really enjoy
A moment that summarizes my life
A second that has been part of my life

But why am I here again?
A cycle of never ending void
The clouds don't permit
The sun to shine over me

But why, another cruelty?
But why, another fork?
But why, another choice?
But why... do I have to choose?

I wish this day never came
The end of a "never" ending story
I wish that ny heart follows my tears
And refuse to do what it should

The heart refuse to give up
The mind says to move on
The soul hungers for another chance
The mouth only shouts one name...

Another chance is what it asks
To prove itself worthy of thy love
Willing to do anything that thy heart wishes
Just to have the chance to have you

Date:	2005-05-23 13:29
Subject:	alone with my shadow
Security:	Public
Mood:	optimistic

first day ng school as a sophomore

first day na lang uli na loner ako
yes, there are people na nakakasama ko
pero there's really something missing in me e
parang freshmen ako uli
yun nga lang, with no one to be with
nakakapanibago....
Alam ko na paano maging loner
pero di na ako sanay
hinahanap ko pa din si best friend
kung hindi kasi dahil sa kanya
hanggang ngayon sana sanay pa din ako maging loner
pero she changed me
you changed me pare.
pero unti unti, bumabalik na yung dating "CHRIS"
that everyone in high school knew and non at college
natututo na ako uli maging mag-isa
pero siyempre, kung puwede nga lang sana maging friends kami uli e.
sinasanay at binubuhay ko kasi yung bagay na matagal nang patay.
dami kong pinagsisisihan, pero lam ko dapat hindi.
I know God prepared something better for me
though sa ngayon di ko pa makita kung may mas okay pa sa kanya
I mean as a friend, siya na yata ang the best

I know na even if I cry for a million times
you won't be back
pero instead of doing that, I'll wait
pero habang naghihintay
I'll try to detach myself from everyone muna
lalo nga kitang namiss nung sunday
dahil namimiss ko yung the way you cared for me
na alam ko kahit kanino hindi ko pa naexperience
I felt special and important when you were there
I felt appreciated and how it is not to be a loner with you
pero I guess dreams do end.
tapos na lahat parang story na nabasa na.
pero I know for every book na natapos na
puwede naman uli basahin and re-live them e...
aasa pa ba ako?
thanks for the lessons you thought me
for shraing my dreams with me...
I appreciated everything you did for me
even the pains and tears
I know I'm stronger
thanks
hope we can be friends pa din...

Date:	2004-11-16 08:29
Subject:	...
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

I'm totally depressed.
after what happened last saturday
I think that wouild have to be
the "the end" to end this story.
I know I don't have to give up this easily
since there is still hope
the point that the feelings is still here
and it never left me even if we haven't talked
for almost 5 months
maybe I did fall
maybe all this things were all my fault
the point that I listened and did
everything that I was told to do.
I have no one to blame but myself
no one to point fingers to...
everything is my fault...
But I wish to talk to her even for one last time
just to tell her everything...
explain and maybe have some of my questions answered
but I know, with ny situation now...
it is only in my dreams that I may have the chance to do so
and if this is the case
I know having this to reality is close to being impossible
If only she can read my mind
if only she can read what's inside my heart...
maybe she'll understand...
though for now I may not know if what they are telling me is reliable
since I know this same lie I once believed
I wish to know what really started this all
that is the only way that I may silence this feeling
that burns inside of me.

Date:	2004-11-03 08:27
Subject:	hmmm...
Security:	Public
Mood:	crushed

it's sad...
especially when your trying to forget someone...
the thought that "hey I forgot her"
but the next thing I know... I'm down
under the control of the feelings that
once got a hold of me...
when I thought that I finally got over her
I was wrong...
As the song would go
"I know that I ought
to find someone new
But all I find is myself
always thinking of you."
That's whatalways happens to me
especially this morning
memories of what was already forgotten
has suddenly been revived
and never did have I thought that
I'll be back where I started
WhenI thought I have already moved on
since I feel something for someone new
though I know this has hasppened before
I'm back again
thinking of her
trully, once you love
you have to let her go totally
for even if memories of that person
isenough to start that spark of emotion
that you feel
hehehe...
maybe this is just how life goes
bilog nga talaga ang mundo
dahil kung saan ka nagsimula
kahit gaano pa kalayo
ang nilakad mo
babalik at babalik ka pa din
sa sinimulan mo...
For to her I find myself special...
kaya siguro di ko na kaya pang pakawalan...
ganun nga siguro yun...
She was the person who made me feel important...
and the person who shattered all my dreams...
...
...
...